Johnny Wadd A Wonderful World

Tis a sad day indeed when we shift not to the honor of a great splendor of lip hair, but to the rembrance of a moustached man who boasted just as much on his vagina taster as his vagina tester. John Holmes died this day in the year 1988 of the ninja (better known as AIDS).

Johns work, which may have included over 2500 appearances in film, include but are obviously not limited to: Sex and the single vampire, Johnny Wadd, Liquid Lips, Up and Coming, Eruption, Pizza Girls and my personal favorite, Saturday Night Beaver.

John's most notable contribution to the business was not his body of work but rather the constant and still ongoing debate about his penis size. Claims of 10" to 16" were boasted by Holmes, depending on his mood and drug intake for the day. Another important variable in the calculation is how trimmed his boosh was at the moment. Most notable was the last measurement taken by the coroner after his death and he still boasted 8.75" whilst flacid. This obviously not being a form field on a coroners report was documented in pencil on the back side of the third page.

JH also had claimed to have slept with over 20,000 women which based some quick web math over a 20 year period would average out to:

• 700 women a year
• 1.9 women per day
• .08 women per hour
• .0013 women per minute
• .000022 women per second

I am not sure pubescent boys think about it as much as he was slaying it.